Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls Have I Got a Story For You!

In a word: No. I have not got a story for you.

And so in an act of desperation, I will resort to the age old comic style of self-deprecation. Yes readers, this method has been used by writers, comedians and television personalities for decades as a way of making the listener pity them and look at them like a small puppy with no home. You don't leave a small puppy with no home on it's own do you?

Well if you do, you're a sick human being.

Over the past couple of days I've done, seen, read and imagined things that left me giggling. Things that a regular human being wouldn't find funny. Because I'm a BIT of a freak.

For example, outside the petrol station next to my school there is a cage filled with turf or coal bags. The cage door was open and I found myself thinking that I should step inside, close the door and speak to passers by, saying things like:

Please, please let me out. They feed me nothing but egg cartons!

Or

Hello there sir. This fine establishment has realised that there is a fantastic market for selling human toes. They locked me in here to prevent me running off with the merchandise (i.e. the toes) and rightly so. First chance I get I'm taking my toes. So, want to let me out?

OK so upon writing this I realise, It MIGHT have only been funny to me.

Next up is something I promised someone I would write about and so I'm obligated to say:

Don't close your browser Stephen!

He told me he would if I talked about this. Didn't give a reason. Just threats.

So during the week it got quite sunny, and for some reason we decided it would be fun to build a human pyramid.

The Pyramid - Mid-Collapse

It went...sort of well? Maybe? Anyway this one went much better than the second attempt. I was part of this one. And the a-holes put me on the bottom tier! But I suppose that's fair enough seeing as I was probably one of the heaviest there.

Have you ever heard of Banksy? Of course you have. He's famous. OK for those who don't know him, Banksy is a famous graffiti artist and has managed to keep his identity a secret from the world. I picked up a book that had lots of his pieces in and and small bits of writing in them. He's surprisingly funny.

He has many amazing pieces, most are hilarious, but my favourites are definitely these:

The man's a genius to say the least. Especially since he gets away with it.

Another day, another post. Well not so much another day as another week. Another week another post.....and now I've forgotten what I was going to say. Thanks guys!