Weirdest New Years Ever!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It's 2011 and to reign it in there obviously has to be a situation in which I believe myself to be hallucinating. During the evening/night/morning I opened my front door to find a guy dressed as woody outside. He was carrying twin pistols and a sword. These pistols were around 240 years old and he had just come from a fancy dress party...who the hell brings antique pistols worth a couple of grand to a fancy dress party??

This further enhances my belief that my life is one big dream.

Of course in a dream there's nothing awkward. A guy who lives near me and will not be named was at my house at my parents invitation. At one point he struck up conversation with me and as soon as he opened his mouth 2 things became apparent to me.

1. This man was completely wasted. I knew this because he was slurring his words so bad i thought there might have been something medically wrong with him
2. This was going to be the most awkward/embarrassing conversation in the history of my life.

He started talking about his son, whom I knew when i was younger but never really got along with. Mainly because his son was mean and hit me a lot. I was 4 or 5 tops so this was enough to steer me clear of him forevermore. The drunk man said to me in these exact words:

Yeah, see my son's not like you, he doesn't talk much to people he doesn't know...He's a bit of a boring *C-word* (My family reads this blog I'm hardly going to write that out. Use your imagination)

I'm standing there, shell shocked to say the least, watching a middle aged inebriated man laugh his heart out. He then continued (to my horror) to say:

Nah, nah he's a nice kid...Could do with a shag though

There has never been a point in my life where I contemplated tearing my own ears off and burning them until he said those words. My parents, sympathetic as they are, just laughed and laughed and laughed when I told them about the...encounter.

Wonderful people to have around when your brain is about to melt.

However the night went on with events that didn't cause cringing.

I received a call from Niamh Canavan who may or may not have been drinking. More may than may not I have to say. The conversation was pretty much one sided and at some points she was just giggling away to herself because I was able to tell who was calling me. Finally she got to the point and asked me to put her into the blog because, in her exact words

Because everyone thinks it's really funny and if I'm in it I'll be so popular.

So here you are you drunken eejit.

Happy New Year