Maturity? What the hell would I want with a thing like that?

So I turned 17 on Tuesday (woohoo) so to celebrate I went out with friends on Friday and went go-karting on Saturday.

Friday
Another day another Romania gig. Initially I was all for it because my friends went out the weekend before but to some crappy bar full of chavs and severe alcoholics so I didn't go. But then I was all

Meh

I mean I'd got up really early that morning, like 6 in the morning to get an English essay done that I had neglected to do for about a week. Not entirely a bad thing seeing as I actually got to listen to a large chunk of The Chris Moyles show which is always a good thing.
The gig/party/disco thing started at nine and by half 8 I had more or less decided I didn't want to go. Story over. Apparently not as about an hour and a half before hand I promised I would give a friend of mine a lift. So with a heavy heart we went. There were already a few friends of mine there and so we sat with them...turned out they weren't feeling the party vibe.

Yawns ensued.

So I got up and went to get a drink (coke before you ask about the alcoholic content). It's amazing what a little bit of sugar can do for you. I got back and realised these guys were not ready for fun.
Circulating the room for a bit, I struck gold.

PRINGLES!!
they belonged to people I know so it wasn't weird. I swear I didn't walk up to a randomer and steal their pringles......Quick look over there!

Anyway ignoring my sneaky diversion, few of my friends left 'cus they felt the night was going to suck. I can't blame them. It was slow to start.

But then Ben arrived.

Ben Johnston, a long time friend of mine, had turned up from work and it turns out, Ben is amazingly funny/creepy when he's drunk. He kissed lots of people that night lots of times....Not one of them was a female. I'm ashamed to say I was one of his victims. But don't despair for I was not alone. I have a picture of him with his lips latched onto Ryan Kennedy's face. That is coming out at every major event in his life that he will let me near.

The majority of the night was spent dancing like a mad ("mawd" to my Derry reader(s)) man. Although mad men don't generally dance well.

I am NO exception. Ben however started the sprinkler at one point and by the end of the night every body wanted to sprinkle. Ben's awesome when he's inebriated.

He wasn't the greatest/weirdest/creepiest thing on the dance floor that night though.

At one point a random dude just appeared on the dance floor air-guitaring his heart out to Sweet Child o' Mine by Guns N' Roses. This guy had hair that stretched from his head to half way down his back and looked about forty. From what we could tell, he was alone.
For every ones sake, I hope that not every body in their forties does this. I don't want to be the creepy guy at a party for 17/18 year-olds. Here's what he looked like. He's the dark guy in the background

Yeah....Mid-life crisis? I think so
The raffle was an endless source of amusement for us. Now me being me, I didn't buy any tickets. Charity? Those needy kids have had it too good for too long.
The only guy I actually saw win anything was Niall Lynch.  Next thing I know Oonagh Laverty has told me the wrapped raffle prizes are now fair game. Ben and I turn and look at each other and sprint for the presents.
You want to know what I won? A PedOrb. One of those things you use to scrape dead skin off your foot...Awesome. Ben got a big bag of plastic toy animals. We named the giraffe Gerry.

Gerry got around a lot that night. Ben was weirdly attached to that toy animal. It wasn't until later I realised, quite by coincidence that they were Ben&Gerry. Not much more to say there. That just made me giggle.

Saturday
This was the day my friends and I went go-karting. Twelve teenage boys, none of whom have actually any driving experience, racing round a wet course in petrol fuelled karts. We knew that this could only end in hilarity.

And sure enough Ryan Kennedy crashed into the first corner so hard that he got half his kart wedged underneath it. This corner was fittingly named Kennedy's Corner.
The best time that day was David O'Neill with an insane time of 20 seconds exactly. I was close behind....in eighth place. Although my time was 20.8 seconds. AAAAAANNNND  I got a medal. Superhappyfuntimes? Why yes Timmy. Yes they were. I don't even know anybody called Timmy. Or Tim for that matter. I know somebody whose last name is Timoney but I don't suppose that's what you're looking for.

OK so I may have only got the medal because it was my birthday. But more importantly we looked like a crime fighting team when the guy took a photo of us on the podium

We are the ELITE!!

The effect was suitably ruined by Conail McMullan and Ryan facing the camera. Jamie Higgins and Michael McNaghten are looking at the camera as well but Michael looks like a super villain and Jamie his henchman. I suppose Conail could be the comic relief character that does everything wrong. Look at that little face of his. Hard to take seriously as a super hero.
But yes anyway in short, I have a medal and Dave doesn't so I think we all know who the real winner here is.

After that we all went back to mine. It was you're typical guys night in. There was pizza, there was call of duty, there was hide and seek.
Yes folks, there was hide and seek. And I won't lie to you, it was a lot of fun. My parents walking in at one point to find me hiding under the table and Jamie hiding in a cupboard. They were more than a little shocked when they saw him and ashamed they had a son like me. To be honest, they should totally be proud to have such an excellent hider of a son
I was it one point and I went into a room and searched under the table when the lights were off. I stuff my hand under and heard something shuffle. I reached back further. Another shuffle. Then the hider got very unlucky for you see ladies and gentlemen, his phone began to ring. It lit up under the table and showed me exactly where he was hiding. Poor Kricky Donnelly. You don't catch a break do you?

Well good. Because you did a bad thing. The first time Kricky comes to my house, he takes pictures of photographs of me from when I was younger. There's one of chubby James, pajama PlayStation James and his personal favourite, the King James. The King James is a photo of me standing in one of those things you stick your head in and take a photo so it looks like its your head on a weird body. For instance, this was a King and I pulled a "regal" face to the best of my ability. Needless to say I looked ridiculous and Kricky did what every teenage boy with those kind of photos would do.

He put it on Facebook.

Kricky's dead to me.

Anyway after the pizza got here but before Kricky ceased to exist in my mind, the guys decided they wanted to go on the trampoline outside...at night...in the the cold and ice...My friends aren't exactly cautious.
Jamie and Kricky were on the trampoline and told me to jump and see how easy it was to fall.
Skeptical me with a slice of pizza in my hand, I gingerly stepped onto the trampoline. I took one jump straight upwards and wound up suddenly flying sideways.

Now I know what you;re thinking and I was worried too. But no, the pizza was not harmed during the incident. It as good pizza too. Mmmmm Dominos pizza.

Speaking of Dominos Jordan Duffy now works there and spent 10 minutes describing to me how Dominos and crafty A-holes. He says that with those deals like "Buy one large get another free" your charged like £4 extra per pizza. What a Jip!
If there are two things I hate its spending money unnecessarily and being hungry. I guess I'm going to have to choose which one means more to me.

Well I'm pretty sure that's my weekend wrapped up. Next up will probably be about the Romania QUIZ. Another one that is. Unless there isn't really much to talk about.

I'm thinking about updating on a regular basis so you guys don't have to guess whenever I have a new post up.
Maybe every Sunday between 7 and 9 sometime. Well we'll see how this goes.

How do you like the time? Don't answer. I don't even care.

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