Friday, 18 March 2011

Spitting?!?! Really?!

So I'm walking home from school on Monday when your typical chavy ballymena "lad" strolls past me, getting his strut on, you know, as they do. I'm listening to my iPod silently judging, as I do, and the guy just spits to his side. This left me wondering:

WHY??

Do you have a medical problem, I thought to myself, where your saliva accumulates far too quickly and it must be expelled from the mouth? Are you really hungry and are currently thinking of bacon sandwiches?

Or (more likely) are you just in fact a GIANT douche?

I think we all know the answer.

I mean what is the appeal? I'm genuinely curious. I can't even think of excuses that are even vaguely plausible. I mean every thirty steps this guy would evacuate his mouth of it's gooey inhabitants. It was a nauseating, sordid experience.

It's nice to see I'm such a well adjusted person, you know, not letting the little things bother me.

Saturday, 12 March 2011

Devastation strikes Japan

Often you will hear things, "Acts of God" as they are called. Storms, hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanic eruptions. They always happen in some country far away. They never make an impact on you.

Yesterday, March 11th, Japan was hit with an earthquake that reached 8.9 on the Richter scale. The Richter scale only has categories that go up to 10. Beyond that they have no classification and so as you can imagine, this one was huge.

This earthquake was almost in the 2nd highest class of earthquake. For five minutes yesterday, it was hell on earth for the Japanese people caught up in the middle of something that even the greatest mind's of this earth cannot predict, something that is naturally destructive and cannot be prevented or circumvented.

Since the year 684 AD there have been 34 earthquakes with a Richter scale rating of 6.5 or higher. This was the largest of them all. It is also the 3rd, 4th or 5th largest earthquake since seismological records began.

An earthquake of this magnitude doesn't come alone. Due the the epicenter of the earthquake, which was near the east coast of Honshu, Japan, 231 miles northeast of Tokyo there was a massive Tsunami.
The Tsunami that ensued caused as much, if not more, damage than the earthquake itself.

Courtesy of the ITN website

Houses were washed away in seconds, probably with people - families - inside of them.

The Tsunami now threatens places all over the Pacific Ocean, including North and South America all the way from Alaska to Chile, traveling at 500 mph across the ocean at an estimated 33ft (10 metres) high.

As of yet there is no official death toll with reports varying from 1,300 to 1,600 with many more expected to be found. Alongside those horrific statistics there are hundreds missing and whole towns with which there have been 10,000 feared missing or dead in a port town in North Japan.

The Tsunami brings devastation of it's own with massive whirlpools collecting around the coast of Japan.

Numerous vessels at sea have been dragged into these whirlpool's, trapped for the time being. Some of the whirlpool's aren't too deep and so the boats aren't being dragged under but there may still be boats being easily pulled underwater by the pools.

There are also very serious dangers relating to the Nuclear Power station in Fukushima Daiichi. Due to the Tsunami, the electricity has been cut from a lot of the country and, as such, the Power station does not have the power to keep the cooling systems going that regulate water in and out of the core.

The water began to boil and turn to steam. This increased the pressure in the reactor which was released with the smoke into the air above Fukushima. Some of the water was converted to Hydrogen which exploded. There has been a 20 km evacuation of the area surrounding the plant.

All of this seems more than one country could handle. Many are likening it to the 2012 predicitions. It is a disgrace that this fairytale-esque story is being compared to the real pain and suffering felt by thousands, millions of people living in Japan.

What strikes me the most about this tragedy is that most other massive world changing incidents happen in less developed countries like the Tsunami in Thailand, the earthquake in Chile, the nuclear disaster in Chernobyl, the earthquake in Haiti.

But then you get places like Christchurch in New Zealand getting hit with a 6.3 magnitude earthquake just last month, and the technological tycoon, Japan, who prided themselves in being better prepared for earthquakes than anywhere else in the world, being struck by this insane act of nature, obliterating their defences and preparations like they were nothing.

What strikes me most about this is that I had never associated Japan with natural disasters. But now, seeing these reports, all I can think about is the very real people caught up in the middle. People who had lives, families, jobs, aspirations, pet-peevs, friends. All of these people are in danger. A lot of these people are already dead. And one recurring thought rolls around my brain:

How will they recover from this?
And I know it's a cliché and you have probably heard it from a million different sources but keep all of the people suffering in Japan in your thoughts and donate whatever you can to help.
The Red Cross is the only place I know that you can send money to:
http://www.redcross.org.uk/

Please, give whatever you can. I know a lot of you won't or can't donate money but at least, by doing this, I can say that I tried to help these people rebuild their lives.


Sunday, 6 March 2011

The Ridiculousness that is Charlie Sheen

There are many things that annoy me. I never expected a show on Comedy Central that wasn't Everybody Loves Raymond to be one of those things.
Charlie Sheen, a long time drug addict not to mention wife beater, has caused the cancellation of the hit show that made him $1.8 million per episode, Two and a Half Men. This was due to an argument he had with his bosses at CBS which he has blown out of proportion to a $320 million law suit against them. It's funny because the man seems oblivious that to the fact that the world is most definitely NOT on his side.

When asked what he felt about claims that he was bi-polar, Sheen responded with:
I'm bi-winning, you know? I win here and I win there
Tool.

Sheen's quotable mess of the English language has been spread about the Internet like an inebriated party girl with an STD, with phrases such as:
I'm on something right now, it's called Charlie Sheen
and
I had a disease? Bullshit. I cured it with my brain
being the most popular. But my favourite has to be:
I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' Rock Star from Mars
The dude obviously has serious issues. He actually said:
Touch my children and I will eat your hands of your arms
But he gets away with it because hes rich and famous. As you would expect, talented auto tune artists have turned these into songs. However this video is my favourite. It isn't him auto tuned, but it is a video where a guy has taken the words he said and made them into a song of his own. Its really good and definitely worth watching:

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boF3x7RBJOk

 To be honest, I was never really a fan of the show anyway and it makes me visit naughty giggle town to hear that it has been cancelled because of this guy who believes himself to be better than people when he is the laughing stock of the world. This is further reinforced in my mind after I watched his interview. Here it is:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5aSa4tmVNM&NR=1&feature=fvwp

Every sentence of his makes me cringe. For his sake I hope he stays off the drugs. Not because I care for the idiot, but because the world will not let him forget about that interview if even one thing he said doesn't hold true.

But then again he is bi-winning so who am I to criticise...

Monday, 28 February 2011

OK I Get It...

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah I know. My attempt at serious news blogs suck.
But there's no need to come up to me and tell me how disappointed you are. You know who you are and as such you should be ashamed of yourself.

That's not to say I want you to stop reading. Quite the contrary. I want your views. You see this month I didn't really care about the amount of views I was going to get. Mainly because, essentially, I have just started this whole blog thing. So when people found out about it, it was a whole
People still blog? And I know someone who has a blog? Weeeeeird
situation and people came to have a look. The views section rose for a bit. But as the novelty slowly wore off I got less and less views. So this month I was thinking
Meh, who cares how many people see it.
I CARE!!!!
And so I'm posting a pointless posty thingy in order to get just the last 29 views I need to reach 300 for this month. And I need them within the next two hours. Can you do that for me. Well obviously if you're already here and ready it. Which makes this whole situation a little pointless...





I like Coca-Cola....

Sunday, 27 February 2011

News Stories - Attempt Number 1

The EU has come to the idea that prisoners in the UK not being allowed to vote goes against their human rights. My feelings on that?

Awww boohoo is the little murderer/rapist going to cry?

I mean, come on. You did bad things and now you're complaining that you don't get the perks of when you don't do bad things? This is just me, but I feel that if you do something bad enough to be put in jail for a considerable amount of time, you don't really have many human rights. You certainly don't get to vote.

The only other news story I can find that I have anything to say about is Colonel Gadaffi. For those of you who don't know, Gadaffi is the president (dictator) of Libya which for some time now has been going through a revolution in an attempt to overthrow Gadaffi.

A recent news story, courtesy of sky news, shows that "Libyan revolutionaries in Benghazi claim to have rescued seven prisoners that had been buried alive"

That says it all really. The man with the stupid name has to go/die/be used as a guinea pig for experimental science. I mean how pleasing can it really be to run a country? So pleasing that you practically declare war on your own country just to keep power? I wonder is he aware that if he alienates everyone in Libya he will not have anyone to rule over and they will eventually get rid of him.

I feel like the stupid blond girl from Family guy that goes out with Brian for a while when I say that somebody should definitely stop him.


The news is always so depressing. And that is why people take funny pictures of animals, to make news seem less negative.
Of course this (below) is always hilarious. Mainly because I'm not sure how the zebra achieved this:
The mind! It is blown!

Monday, 21 February 2011

I Got a Problem!

Why is it that when people see somebody creepy in horror films or shows, they don't say:
He could be waiting for me out in the alley. I think I will stay in this well lit, crowded room in the safety of my friends, and leave later with a group of people. Better safe than sorry. You know, safety in numbers and all that.
Not once has that thought process been discovered in the media. The person stands up immediately and says they have to go. Guess what the do next
What do they do next, James?
Oh no, you have to guess.
Do they call a taxi and have it come to the extreme front door in a well lit street?
Nope
Do they get immediately into their car which they have cleverly parked next to the entrance?
Getting colder
....They find the nearest dark alley where they have obviously parked their car, fumble with the keys and stop every time they hear a noise. It turns out to be a cat, they laugh and turn back to their car and get killed. That's what happens isn't it?
Of course that's what happens. Apparently it would be ridiculous otherwise.

And another thing. Have any of you seen that episode of Scrubs where some girl collapses and starts hearing and seeing things as a musical?

God I hate musicals

Anyway, what bothers me about that episode the most is the fact that her problem couldn't possibly happen. No duh, right?
But I mean come on. Her doctors are clearly not speaking in rhymes and yet her brain quickly inputs rhyming words. That requires a lot of brainpower! Plus she must have intricate knowledge of medical procedures and terminology, because JD and Turk start singing about what medical problems could be discovered through looking at a stool sample because, naturally:
Everything comes down to poo, from the top of your head to the sole of your shoe
And I know your thinking:
James don't be such an ass, its a sitcom for God sake
Well shut up!

Ha! Bet you thought I'd have a wise-ass comment to throw back at you. But no. Sadly I have nothing because I know better than anyone I am a pedantic little a-hole.

Also I saw this in the supermarket and it made me giggle my 9 year old heart out

Don't ask me why.

Sunday, 20 February 2011

Birthdays

Birthdays. Important to some, something to be glanced over by others. But a birthday is not something that is important to the birthday-ee but to EVERY ONE ELSE IN THE WORLD.

It's true. Now most people enjoy their birthday. Why wouldn't they? For one day you are allowed to do whatever you like (within reason), everyone is nice to you (well that depends how old you are. The word's birthday beatings spring to mind) and in my house we get to choose what we eat that night for dinner.

But these past couple of years birthdays have gotten....stranger.

As I have told you before I spent my 17th birthday with my friends in my house playing hide and seek. I regret NOTHING.
But I have never been a huge fan of my birthday. The awkward moment when you react to the present and, even when I always enjoy the present, I have to figure out a nice balance between "Yes I really like your gift" and "I think I might wet myself with happiness"

I prefer Christmas to be honest. I like giving presents, but I dislike receiving them.
I am such a Saint! Never forget that.

Recently my sister Orla came home for an interview with a university and with she brought my birthday present. My birthday is on the 18th on January and she came home on Thursday and wrapped the present in front of me. But that's not all. After successfully guessing the contents of the wrapped package, I was shocked to see the smiling faces of Kate Middleton and Prince William on a postcard taped to the front of the Gavin and Stacey box set.

The Gavin and Stacey box set, I was happy about. The postcard? I'm still not sure how I felt about that. I have nothing against the royal family but nor do I have any affiliation with them.

Whilst I was suitably conflicted, Orla produced two more postcards. One which had, in her words, "Phil and Lizzie, chillin' " and another with Prince Harry on the front which she playfully described as her future husband......yeah.....


Kricky Donnelly's  birthday also made me laugh. Not only because he tried to claim the go-karting I arranged was for him (his birthday is 2 days after mine and so he felt that, as his was the most recent, it was his birthday. Meh I won anyway so it doesn't matter) but because I was the first to say happy birthday to him.

Right, I get that this isn't an achievement. But you have to understand that this means everything to a friend of mine. Caoimhe McManus lives to be the first person to say happy person to somebody. So much so, that she waits till midnight and texts them a birthday message. We argued for a bit when I tried to tell her that she wasn't first to wish me a happy birthday, but third. It's not true, she was in fact first, but her reactions crack me up to no end.

On the night on Kricky's birthday, I texted him asking him if he wanted to mess with Caoimhe's head. Kricky, being Kricky, jumped at the chance. We planned that he would say that I said happy birthday before her.
So there I was, stewing in my own mischief....what?
And I was reading my book. I put down the book and saw it was 23:59 and I'm like:
Why the fudge not?
So I really did text him first.

Caoimhe was NOT happy. Kricky and I were.

I think this invalidates my "saint" comment earlier.

Anyway, to finish I thought I'd wish a happy birthday to you all. Doubly so Aaron "MoonBeam" Carey as it is his actually birthday tomorrow.

Because, yeno, what's a birthday without a monkey?


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