Do I Have To??

That is what I have been asking my peers who demand me to post something new. But I am ashamed to say I have almost lost interest in blogging. Well at least the responsibility I put upon myself of posting every week. Its exhausting! Really I just couldn't be bothered anymore! School will be keeping me busy anyways!

But then again I'm only human. Many people over the world find a new passion every week and then become complacent. This all started because I wanted to be a journalist. Work experience soon put an end to that.

I'm now thinking towards publishing but that's irrelevant. I started this blog because my dad and my aunt suggested it as it would make me look like I was really interested in journalism. But now that I don't want to be a journalist does that mean I don't want to blog anymore?

In a word: No. It doesn't mean that. I mean I always enjoyed it. But after a while I was only doing it because I had set myself this schedule.

And when I rule the world, as you all have realised is an inevitability, there will be no schedule. This is particularly ingenious because any opposing parties will not be able to schedule rallies or protests at my dictatorial actions and I will forever remain in power!

The news is always depressing and boring, so I have decided that the most exciting way I can utilise what little talent in writing is through becoming a fiction author of novels for people my own age. I'm fairly good at making up bullshit. And this is just extended bull shit. How hard could that be?

I already have a few ideas. But I won't share them with you because, let's face it, they probably aren't any good!
I mean 80% of people believe they could write a book but only a minuscule amount of people have one published.

But still. A guy can dream can't he? Plus being an author would be the perfect lifestyle! Getting paid to write down my bullshit, not having to get up early in the morning EVER and nobody could tell me off for it!

So this is my last year at school. Honestly I thought it would never come. Schools been such a large chunk of my life for 14 years, I just assumed subconsciously that it would always be a part of it. But don't fret! For this is the year of the 18ths!

The year of the 18th is exactly what it sounds like. It's the year when everyone in my year turns 18.

What? You didn't figure that out?

Anyway. My birthday, along with three other people who are turning 18 at the same time, falls in the middle of the exams. I know right? Such cruel irony. I hate exams so the universe bitch slaps me with them. Thanks universe. Real decent of you.

It's not all bad though. The school formals coming up on Friday which is an excellent chance to see various teachers inebriated. More than that its going to be hilarious to see who will be drunk in front of the teachers. I've been taking bets and we all have our favourites to win...or lose depending on how you look at it.

No! Being drunk in front of teachers is losing. A brilliantly funny loss. But a loss all the same.

Remember kids, alcohol is bad for you. That is until the second you turn 18 where you liver apparently grows a super strong tolerance for alcohol. But if you're 17 and 364 days old it will kill you. No joke. I've seen it

The guy had a drink to celebrate turning 18 at midnight but his watch was running fast. He took a sip of beer and went into a coma. He was medically dead for the final 47 seconds before he turned 18. Then, when it was really his birthday, he sat up. His body levitated from the ground and glowed bright white. The alcohol was purged from his body and all was well.

OK so maybe now he's incontinent but hey, who ends a story saying the subject can no longer control their bowels?

That'd just be weird....