What's that? Can't stay in? Nonsense. What do you mean you contracted a disease that dissolves your innards? I have a show to direct! The school can facilitate an IV drip and we will just have to wake you when you must dance. In fact, how long have you until you die? A week? Splendid. The show will be over by then.That got a bit carried away but she makes me so mad! I tried to tell her today that i was going to go to class instead of rehearsals and she asked me was i coming back later. I said no, there was an argument, i yelled, she lowered her voice in a way she thought was threatening (which it isn't, it just frustrated me) and then she reported me to my year head. Ahh sweet Justice.
But I'll get back to the play in a minute. As i said, this has been a crazy week and i have manys of manys to say (screw you grammar)
Let's start Monday. As some of you know (i say some i mean two or three...tops) i was involved in my school's debating society and my ...match? was on Monday. We were against this school called Inst (couldn't tell you the full name) in Belfast. They train for this from, like, first year and i wasn't even aware we had a debating team until about a month and a half ago so needless to say, we were trounced. Lol. that word. Hmm. Should i say "Lol" in a blog? it seems out of place. That settles it. In my domain there shall be no text slang. However if there are missing capital letters, assume i did that on purpose.
But i digress. They beat us 80 points to 66 (don't even ask me how you score points in a debate, because i don't have a clue. I assume it is either like an English paper or for every time you make the examiner think of a dinosaur munching on a toaster, you gain 20 points.) which is quite a large gap. I mean the other half of my team beat their Dungannon counter-parts by 2 points and we wee told that was a big gap.....failure is abundant as you can see. My other team scored 61 to their 59. So clearly not only were we better, but our opponents were monumentally harder so that makes everything OK...right?
But these guys at Inst, they were the most ridiculous people ever. Their first speaker was the single most pompous dude in the entirety of human civilisation. And he kept referring to me and my team mate Eoin O'Neill "esteemed opposition" or "honourable opposition"
Dude you don't even know me. There is nothing esteemed about me. For all you know, I eat babies with a side of puppies, how's that for esteemed? And what's more i could totally tell he was putting on all the fancy elongated language. Want to know how? The dumb-ass had atrocious grammar and he was using all those fancy words in the wrong places. For one thing he said
The big society is just one of a myriad of excusesNow this may be because I'm a bit (a bit? a lot) of a nerd. Especially when it comes to grammar, spelling, books or general life. Anyways he used myriad wrong....fun story right?
Anyways whilst we were in Belfast, I saw some pretty strange people. The first one i saw was a man walking down the street in a full on suit. Maybe he was a business man, maybe he was going to a wedding, maybe he just liked to wear suits. Not much strange about that right? WRONG. He had a Mohawk!! A full on, foot long, solid MOHAWK. Took every shred of self control I had to hold in the laughter until he passed us. I had to rely on my other team mate Mary Laverty to get me across the road because i was laughing so hard I couldn't walk. Almost immediately after, there was a ginger woman who walked pass us. She had, like a bajillion piercings in her face and weird hair. Not Mohawk weird of course but still. I mean really her hair was grey with like a streak of bright bright orange.
Skip ahead to the ridiculous regime of Mrs can't say her name because some one might actually tell her about this blog and she might read it even though my code isn't exactly unbreakable but we'll call it plausible deniability. Bit of a mouthful don't ya think? (Don't say that's what she said, don't say that's what she said, don't say that's what she said. Goddammit. I said it out loud) Let's abbreviate shall we? So Mrs CSHNBSOMATHATBASMRIETMCIEUBWCIPD and her insane regime.
Throughout the week we had to stay in for rehearsals from 9 in the morning until 9 in the evening. I know! Ridiculous. Anyway most of the weird shit happens during play hours. I think it's mainly because we get so tired we become delirious and we do the weirdest of things. Anyways the only play thing that didn't come from delirium was a scene in the play that i am in. I have 1 line. 7 words really. It's integral to the plot of the show i swear. Anyways it is easily my favourite scene, not only because i speak in it, but because a few friends of mine come in playing russian soldiers. Then my friends procede to beat me up. Wonderful friends i have. To be fair only one of them beat me up. Ryan mcFadden tries to find out if pillows feel pain, John Cassidy beats up one guy, i think. And finally my attacker Michael O'Mullan. He takes out the guy sitting next to me first (in slow mo, no less) and then knocks me over a chair. It takes a lot of skill to fall in slow motion I'll tell you that. Then the stupid-ass annoying juniors from behind me step over my body and try to take on Michael. My three minions are taken out pretty quickly. Then they have to lie down next to me. It's awful. They are literally more annoying than Jedward and Gok Wan combined. Fun scene though. Even though one of the bastards kicked me in the face when he was running around in the strobe light being an idiot. I hate children
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