Blogging has become a large part of my life now. And with good reason. Seeing as it is a (much) less formal take on what I would like to pursue as a future career. And because of this, I've been keeping my eyes open for anything strange, weird, wonderful or boring that I can exaggerate so far past it's point of origin, it is basically a lie.
For instance. You know that saying "Like a hot knife through butter" ?
It's crap
Seriously.
I was making toast after a hard day restraining myself from yelling at teachers and I had to get butter from the fridge. The stuff was like a brick. I HATE rock hard butter. It destroys toast. Literally. The stuff won't spread so you're left with a veritable bomb site of wheat and flour.
It's doubly annoying because by the time you've given up with elegance and just started tossing butter at the toast, you don't even enjoy eating it because it's now lukewarm.
And as everybody knows, there is a race to get everything out and ready so you can butter the toast as fast as possible so the butter melts and the toast is still hot. It's true. Everyone does it
Yes you do.
YES you do!
Don't lie to me. I know you. I can tell when you're lying....
Anyway, to counteract the rock solid butter I thought (with generous amounts of ingenuity) I should run the knife under boiling water and then butter my toast.
Since I started boiling my knives...not a damn thing changed.
Toast destroyed, butter still cold, family murdered, I'm arrested, I escape, befriend a wise-cracking owl only to be led astray into the darkness of the forest wear I'm killed by a bear on the command of the terrifying, ruthless, evil photocopier woman...WILMA!!!
Or something along those lines anyway.
Seriously though, Wilma? Scares the crap out of everyone. Teachers included. She refuses to photocopy things for people. And yet she is the photo copy woman. Interesting career path she chose.
Due to the fact that I want to be a journalist I feel I should report the news now and again.
Maybe just local news. Really local news. News about the school.
Rome trip for next year? Cancelled. What the actual bejeesus? That was maybe the only thing keeping me from a severe mental breakdown. According to my history teacher, Mrs Johnston, one of the teachers organising the trip, the board felt that "...due to the current economic climate, it is too costly to pay for the staff insurance"
I feel robbed. Well and truly this frustrates me.
I guess I'll just have to organise my own holiday with friends for next year
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