This list of crap has got to go!

For a while I had a list of things that amused me and I had intended to put them in the blog. But due to those posts being shit and no fun in my eyes, I have decided to do one last mentions parade using it. These people (kind of) all deserve to be on this list. It has nothing to do with their begging me. So without further ado (what does that word even mean?) here they are.

Starting this evening in chronological (captain dictionary right here) order we have Alix Scullion sporting a near car accident. Having recently passed her driving test, Alix decided to drive her little sister and a friend around town. I had been in town as well and as I was walking home, I passed the Tower centre car park and spotted her driving. Needless to say, this dangerous sight stopped me in my tracks. Alix beaming like a maniac waved and all I could say was "DANGEROUS". She said something rude to me and I walked on. As it turned out she hadn't paid for a ticket and caused a traffic jam inside the car park and had to have her sister run out and pay. I'm not entirely sure, but I think she told me NOT to put this in....whoops

Moving onto acts of dopiness, we have Aideen Brogan with her misguided idea that Milan was in Spain. Aideen does A-level geography. I don't think I need to say anything more. You guys fill in the blanks.
For those of you who don't know (shame) Milan is in Italy and is the capital of the region Lombardy. Wikipedia Win!

The play was filled with acts of stupidity left, right and centre but the best was when Niall Lynch was given a microphone for the play. After his scene, on an actual performance night, he came back stage to where we were all sitting/ lying down on the scenery lift. I was lying down and he told me to shift which I did. As I moved he said

Jimmy Fitzy, you've a sweet ass

This was heard, however quietly, over the speakers by the director of the play who went crazy at him. The hilarity of the situation was hilarious.

Next on the list is Michael O'Mullan. Now, Michael is, in general, is conscientious about his hair. But this really took the cake. I walked up to the changing rooms during the play to find Michael doing the other Russian soldiers hair. We called them the SS meaning the soldiers salon. I was quite proud of the name. The pride was smothered by my frustration as 6 of them held me down as Michael attempted to do my hair. He may have got the gel in, but it wasn't my sexuality that was brought into question.

This one has to be the strangest. Whilst in the play, I met someone called Rachel Davis who kept telling me to

Get out your chest

It wasn't appropriate, apparently, for me to say the same to her. I'm sensing a bit of a double standard.
There was a reason for her to say this but I'm not going to share it with the Internet. Mainly because, well, that's just creepy

Finally we come to the people who wanted in the blog and tried to make up reasons as to why they should be in.

Katherine Neeson was in the changing rooms during one of the breaks between scenes and she told us she was hungry. She came up with the idea that they could throw a rope with a hook out the window and order a Chinese. She figured that the delivery guy could hook the food bag and we hoist it up. Whether or not we would throw down money is debatable

This person is unique in that there is nothing to write about them. Aoidin Rafferty wanted to be in the blog quite a lot at the time. I asked her to come up with a suitable excuse. Her lack of awesomeness has led to her earning a spot in our prestigious (aye right) ranks.

Louis Sisk earned a place of infamy here after he tried to steal my coke during the break one rehearsal day. There I was, just minding my own business when -boom- a hand sneaks out and makes a grab for the can in my hand. Needless to say, I wouldn't let go even though I would be the only one that would stand to lose something in this confrontation if it spilled. But I won in the end. Now I know what you're thinking (actually i don't but this needs to be cleared up)

James, why don't you just share your coke. It's the right thing to do

Screw that. That coke was mine! In the words or Joey Tribbiani "JAMES DOESN'T SHARE FOOD"
A few weeks later, he asked me to buy him a drink at a pub quiz. Nice try mate. I'm on to you.


Well that's me. I'm done. That stupid list is crumpled and in the bin. Now you can enjoy unplanned blog posts....I'm sorry