Grumpy Old Men - Lone Teen Edition

So tonight, I'm a little bored. All the TVs are being used, the book I'm reading at the mo isn't very enticing and I have next to no money on my phone. And so I'm going to entertain all three of you who read this. And how am I going to do that? By doing what I do best...Complaining about things that I don't like.

Number one (but not necessarily top) on that list is Fred. One of the most subscribed YouTubers, Fred has now got his own movie....what has the world come to? I mean when I talk complete crap in a high pitched, Elmo-esque voice people call me weird, they don't give me movie deals and the chance to call Pixie Lott my girl-friend. Life's not that good.

Next is something I am well versed in complaining about. It's friggen rave/beat/dance/techno music (if you can call it that) that they play in clubs and bars. I have a theory about the creation of this crap. One day a young songwriter came to his/her manager and gave him his/her CD. The manager then gave it to the DJ to mess with the vocals and the like. But the DJ, well he was an idiot. Doped up to his eyes and downing shots of whiskey like it was water he just put in the CD and thrashed every button on his head. The manager, equally stocious thought

Oh that has a recognisable beat, we're sweet

And thus the brain tumour of the music industry was born, nay, spawned and the world got a little more stupid

THE DISNEY CHANNEL!!!!! My god whatever idiot that writes the script for 98% of those shows needs to be shot. Really. In the face. Whilst a cat shreds their private area. After having a Chinese burn administered (the gravest of all pains). Then again I do enjoy Phineas and Ferb. Faaaaar too much. So much so that I know the words to the title sequence and sing-a-long to the Perry the Platypus song.....and I maaaaay have considered downloading one of the songs they sing each episode.

The Snow. Oh how I loathe it. Its a wet, slushy, dirty, weapon. It causes the whole of the western European world to grind to a halt, flights grounded, trains breaking down and yet somehow, SOMEHOW my sister still managed to get home. Orla, my sister who goes to school in Glasgow returns home at any excuse. Well she's home for Christmas now and within 15 minutes of her return, the floor in the back room almost gets set on fire. You read that right. OK so, she had nothing to do with it and it was technically my dads doing but still.
I'm pretty sure she thinks of me as some sort of Ken doll because she keeps trying to dress me in new clothes she sees in random shops. So to sum up, snow has brought this torture upon me. I don't think I will ever recover.

This list has gone on for long enough so I'm going to leave you with the last one on the list (for now) and that is people from Ballymena below 30. As a general law they are arrogant, extremely chavvy, rude and they think they are the greatest thing since the bacon sandwich. Which they aren't because, let's face it, what's better than a bacon sandwich. In the words of Russell Howard

It is essentially two slices of bread giving a dead pig a hug.

And they just- Yeno what, yeno what I'm just going to stop because I would rant and rave about them forever.

So I'll just leave you with a road enraged cat. Enjoy