I think they do it on purpose. Just for Kicks, Yeno?

You may have realised by now that sometimes, once every so often, I get a little...peeved at things. If you enjoyed rants of rage then this is your lucky day. If you don't you are seriously in the wrong place. Have the Care Bears write a blog. It would be more up your alley.

Straight to the point. Have you ever had to call your network provider for your mobile? If you haven't, NEVER GET A CONTRACT because then you might want to retrieve your old number. It is the biggest hassle in existence. I had to make 4 phone calls to 2 service providers because the first guy at, well let's call them O3. The guy at O3 gave me the wrong code to do it so I had to call them a second time. The second guy sounded like a broken, talking Ken doll. Every time I read out a section of my mobile number said "Yeah" with the exact same inflection each time.

Now you could be reading that and thinking that that is normal and we all do that when writing down something called out over the phone. But at this point, the guy got it into his head that I was getting pissed off at him. Literally out of no where he said "I'm not trying to have a go at you" This made me want to kill this man. And so when he said "yeah" all those times in that inflection I was annoyed and so got the idea he felt he was winning by hearing the phone number correctly. No, I am not insane and paranoid so get those thoughts out of your head.

It's his fault for choosing that profession where anger is born. It's the kind of job that creates serial killers on both side of the phone line.

For that matter, who the hell chooses to work there. I mean what kind of broken lifeless 6 year old stands up in class and says "I want to be a phone line operator for O3 when I'm older" A 6 year old who was given an abacus and a book on Accounting for his birthday that's who.

However the other network operator was perfectly helpful and made no mistakes whilst explaining the process. After a bit of chat with Dan (oh yeah. He was so helpful, I remembered his name) I hung up with the sickly mixture of regret at having rang in the first place, accomplishment and annoyance at the Ken doll operator.

Moral of the story, If you ever befriend somebody who works as a network service operator, WALK AWAY FROM THEM. Quickly. Because if you need to ring your operator and they pick up, you will hang up hating them. True Story

MILESTONE 2.0

BOOOOOOOM!!!!

That, ladies and gentlemen, was my blog breaking the quadruple digit views barrier. I wish i could say it was shattered but, as I look at it now, it only has 1,001 views. But hey its more than a thousand and I would just like to say thank you to all of you out there who wish to peer into the inner recesses of my mind. You obviously have a mental disorder of your own if you want to go in there.

Hell, thinking about it, I barely want to go in there.

In fact, I'm starting to think the only reason I broke a thousand is due to the fact that it was christmas 2 days ago.

IT'S A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!!

A post on Christmas day? What, has he got nothing better to do?

Now, last post you may or may not have noticed that it was eeeeeever so slightly weighted toward the negative aspects of my tolerance i.e. things that make me insane. And so, as it's Christmas, I'm going to balance that out with a post of the things I love most in this world. If Padraig Conlon is reading this, I know exactly what your mind has jumped to and you should know that if it is voiced I'm going to have to bury you in the snow. Moving on to the actual point of this post.

Now, Raindrops on roses, whiskers on kittens and brown paper packages tied up with string are all well and good. But sadly they are not a few of my favourite things.

Some of you may know that I am a greedy S.O.B. am slightly enthusiastic about my food. Family members will know that I do not enjoy groups inter-mixing. I'm all for old-fashioned food segregation. Mash potatoes + baked beans = the worst edible catastrophe in existence. Corn and mash potatoes aren't exactly meal time friendly to me either.

Mash Potatoes - Natures minefield.

One of the greatest edible pleasures in existence is the Barbecued Ribs from an American restaurant in Belfast. The ribs look like they've been taken from a giant cow. A giant cow on steroids. A fat Giant cow on steroids. A fat giant cow on steroids that drank BBQ sauce its entire life. A fat giant cow on - well you get the point. Ribs = Goodliness on a platter.

Well, now that I've finished talking about food, I find there's actually very little else to talk about. That either makes me fat or a cynic....or both. Both is more likely.

Books. I'm a bit of a book worm, myself. So much so that I may be addicted to walking into Waterstones and buying anything that looks even vaguely good. One time a new book I wanted came out and so I went in to buy it.

There was a "3 for 2" sale on. I left with 3 books. I'm going broke but it's for a good cause. I used to try and get my little sister Anna to read some of my books because, let's face it, I have amazing taste in books. She read them and gave them back to me...then she realised I was a crazy person. I'm pretty surprised it took her 14/15 years to figure it out. You could call me insane because I'm somewhat protective of my books. The covers can't get creased, you can't bend the corners of pages to mark your page (use a bookmark god-dammit) and you most certainly DO NOT just throw it about. Stupid Anna. Not knowing the rules before I tell her them.

Ahh Sleep. Sleep can shield you from all misfortunes. You don't feel the pain of a broken limb when you are asleep (a pain I have felt awake 3 times...OK so I'm a bit clumsy). If you're hungry before going to sleep you'll wake up without that feeling for about an hour. Without sleep I'm not the lovable guy who spends his time writing down his genius thoughts that you have come to know and love.

But, as this is a "Christmas special" (which it really isn't) I feel obliged to tell you that Christmas trumps all of these things. What's not to like about it? The food, the presents, being with family... OK well the food and the presents anyway. Doctor Who Christmas special is on today which I WILL NOT MISS, turkey is cooked to perfection today, multitudes of cans of coke are bought for this day and, above all, I get super colourful socks today.

So screw modules, screw school, screw stress for at least one day. Imma sit my ass down, watch some Doctor Who, eat until I burst and spend all day tomorrow in my new Teenage mutant Ninja Turtles PJ's that I got. I didn't ask for them but I am sooo not complaining.

Merry Christmas
Happy Kwanzaa (Starting tomorrow anyway)
And have a great 2011. I'd be surprised if 60% of you actually remember the event after all the drink I'm certain you will consume.

But, yeno, it's as good a start as any. And let's hope this stupid snows melts and goes straight to hell (or underworld of your choosing)

Grumpy Old Men - Lone Teen Edition

So tonight, I'm a little bored. All the TVs are being used, the book I'm reading at the mo isn't very enticing and I have next to no money on my phone. And so I'm going to entertain all three of you who read this. And how am I going to do that? By doing what I do best...Complaining about things that I don't like.

Number one (but not necessarily top) on that list is Fred. One of the most subscribed YouTubers, Fred has now got his own movie....what has the world come to? I mean when I talk complete crap in a high pitched, Elmo-esque voice people call me weird, they don't give me movie deals and the chance to call Pixie Lott my girl-friend. Life's not that good.

Next is something I am well versed in complaining about. It's friggen rave/beat/dance/techno music (if you can call it that) that they play in clubs and bars. I have a theory about the creation of this crap. One day a young songwriter came to his/her manager and gave him his/her CD. The manager then gave it to the DJ to mess with the vocals and the like. But the DJ, well he was an idiot. Doped up to his eyes and downing shots of whiskey like it was water he just put in the CD and thrashed every button on his head. The manager, equally stocious thought

Oh that has a recognisable beat, we're sweet

And thus the brain tumour of the music industry was born, nay, spawned and the world got a little more stupid

THE DISNEY CHANNEL!!!!! My god whatever idiot that writes the script for 98% of those shows needs to be shot. Really. In the face. Whilst a cat shreds their private area. After having a Chinese burn administered (the gravest of all pains). Then again I do enjoy Phineas and Ferb. Faaaaar too much. So much so that I know the words to the title sequence and sing-a-long to the Perry the Platypus song.....and I maaaaay have considered downloading one of the songs they sing each episode.

The Snow. Oh how I loathe it. Its a wet, slushy, dirty, weapon. It causes the whole of the western European world to grind to a halt, flights grounded, trains breaking down and yet somehow, SOMEHOW my sister still managed to get home. Orla, my sister who goes to school in Glasgow returns home at any excuse. Well she's home for Christmas now and within 15 minutes of her return, the floor in the back room almost gets set on fire. You read that right. OK so, she had nothing to do with it and it was technically my dads doing but still.
I'm pretty sure she thinks of me as some sort of Ken doll because she keeps trying to dress me in new clothes she sees in random shops. So to sum up, snow has brought this torture upon me. I don't think I will ever recover.

This list has gone on for long enough so I'm going to leave you with the last one on the list (for now) and that is people from Ballymena below 30. As a general law they are arrogant, extremely chavvy, rude and they think they are the greatest thing since the bacon sandwich. Which they aren't because, let's face it, what's better than a bacon sandwich. In the words of Russell Howard

It is essentially two slices of bread giving a dead pig a hug.

And they just- Yeno what, yeno what I'm just going to stop because I would rant and rave about them forever.

So I'll just leave you with a road enraged cat. Enjoy

This list of crap has got to go!

For a while I had a list of things that amused me and I had intended to put them in the blog. But due to those posts being shit and no fun in my eyes, I have decided to do one last mentions parade using it. These people (kind of) all deserve to be on this list. It has nothing to do with their begging me. So without further ado (what does that word even mean?) here they are.

Starting this evening in chronological (captain dictionary right here) order we have Alix Scullion sporting a near car accident. Having recently passed her driving test, Alix decided to drive her little sister and a friend around town. I had been in town as well and as I was walking home, I passed the Tower centre car park and spotted her driving. Needless to say, this dangerous sight stopped me in my tracks. Alix beaming like a maniac waved and all I could say was "DANGEROUS". She said something rude to me and I walked on. As it turned out she hadn't paid for a ticket and caused a traffic jam inside the car park and had to have her sister run out and pay. I'm not entirely sure, but I think she told me NOT to put this in....whoops

Moving onto acts of dopiness, we have Aideen Brogan with her misguided idea that Milan was in Spain. Aideen does A-level geography. I don't think I need to say anything more. You guys fill in the blanks.
For those of you who don't know (shame) Milan is in Italy and is the capital of the region Lombardy. Wikipedia Win!

The play was filled with acts of stupidity left, right and centre but the best was when Niall Lynch was given a microphone for the play. After his scene, on an actual performance night, he came back stage to where we were all sitting/ lying down on the scenery lift. I was lying down and he told me to shift which I did. As I moved he said

Jimmy Fitzy, you've a sweet ass

This was heard, however quietly, over the speakers by the director of the play who went crazy at him. The hilarity of the situation was hilarious.

Next on the list is Michael O'Mullan. Now, Michael is, in general, is conscientious about his hair. But this really took the cake. I walked up to the changing rooms during the play to find Michael doing the other Russian soldiers hair. We called them the SS meaning the soldiers salon. I was quite proud of the name. The pride was smothered by my frustration as 6 of them held me down as Michael attempted to do my hair. He may have got the gel in, but it wasn't my sexuality that was brought into question.

This one has to be the strangest. Whilst in the play, I met someone called Rachel Davis who kept telling me to

Get out your chest

It wasn't appropriate, apparently, for me to say the same to her. I'm sensing a bit of a double standard.
There was a reason for her to say this but I'm not going to share it with the Internet. Mainly because, well, that's just creepy

Finally we come to the people who wanted in the blog and tried to make up reasons as to why they should be in.

Katherine Neeson was in the changing rooms during one of the breaks between scenes and she told us she was hungry. She came up with the idea that they could throw a rope with a hook out the window and order a Chinese. She figured that the delivery guy could hook the food bag and we hoist it up. Whether or not we would throw down money is debatable

This person is unique in that there is nothing to write about them. Aoidin Rafferty wanted to be in the blog quite a lot at the time. I asked her to come up with a suitable excuse. Her lack of awesomeness has led to her earning a spot in our prestigious (aye right) ranks.

Louis Sisk earned a place of infamy here after he tried to steal my coke during the break one rehearsal day. There I was, just minding my own business when -boom- a hand sneaks out and makes a grab for the can in my hand. Needless to say, I wouldn't let go even though I would be the only one that would stand to lose something in this confrontation if it spilled. But I won in the end. Now I know what you're thinking (actually i don't but this needs to be cleared up)

James, why don't you just share your coke. It's the right thing to do

Screw that. That coke was mine! In the words or Joey Tribbiani "JAMES DOESN'T SHARE FOOD"
A few weeks later, he asked me to buy him a drink at a pub quiz. Nice try mate. I'm on to you.


Well that's me. I'm done. That stupid list is crumpled and in the bin. Now you can enjoy unplanned blog posts....I'm sorry

Oh my god. He's talking about real life events?

So Nick Clegg (one of maybe three many, many existing politicians I could name) said before he was...elected or something (I don't really follow politics) was that he wasn't going to raise tuition fees if he was...elected or something.
Now that he is in place as Deputy Prime Minister (AKA David Cameron's bitch errand boy) he has passed the bill or whatever it is for higher tuition fees

SOMEbody doesn't want re-elected. As usual the first people to bitch about this are the facebookers. Already I've seen 3 or 4 groups asking, is slightly more colourful terms, for Clegg's head on a stick.

As a tight-fisted so and so, I can see why people are annoyed. With the cap on fees raised to £9,000 it now rivals the American college fees which have been around $18,000 for a while now and people are going to have to start saving from the cradle. And I understand why people have reacted so strongly.
It is a lot of money.

However there is a good reason for him doing this. I'm certain he didn't roll out of bed pull out a book entitled "Piss off your country in one easy step - for idiots", stroke his evil moustache and laugh maniacally. Now to be fair, I don't actually know what the reasoning is, mainly because I don't have the patience to sit down and watch middle-aged men argue whilst their wives sit behind them bored as all get out, hoping for the day the public drives their husband from their city so she doesn't have to watch him talk anymore

Although I could probably make some up.

1. Obvious one being, we're are in a recession (although statistically speaking we pulled out of it just barely)
2. Raccoon bandits made him do it
3. Universities needed better quality stuff
4. Better quality education
5. Evil ninjas made him do it

But the government isn't evil. They have a duty to do what they think is best for us, so they have to have a maternal attitude toward us.

Of course where's the fun in acceptance.

Lynch the idiot!

Meeting somebody for the first time. What the hell do you do?

So a week or two ago I went to the continental market in Belfast (which is amazing by the way. You have to go and try the dutch pancakes. And i don't want any of you going "eww market food? how unhygienic" Shut up and enjoy those glorious pancakes) and I met somebody there I knew. Well I say met, she snuck up behind me and said "It's James!"

Emily King and this guy she was with, I think his name was Sam, walked up to me and we had a wee chat and then parted ways. That's not the bit that bugged me. When Emily introduced me to Sam I shook his hand.

This is not something I am in the habit of doing. It's a very grown up thing to do. I'm not very grown up at all. Not even a little. And that little act of maturity has plagued my thoughts ever since. But what am I supposed to do otherwise. I'm a hugger kind of guy but you can't hug random strangers. I've tried. They scream. Usually the word rape. They yell, the police come, I explain, we laugh, they give me an criminal record, it's all good. So yeah it'd be weird if I hugged someone I hadn't met before.

However it makes the situation awkward if all you do is say "Hi" and wave when he's standing 4 and a half feet away (oh yes, I measured. Just kidding. If you believed that then you're weird). And so I went for a handshake.



It was also awkward. As I'm not in the habit of hand-shaking, I didn't know how hard to squeeze. Too tight and I'd seem like an ass, but too softly and it'd be creepy.  Plus there was the whole do we shake up-and-down like in the cartoons or do we just grasp hands for a millisecond then part.

Oh the complexities that rule my life

Only occured to me last night.

There is no embarrassment greater than having a person tell people about your blog over a microphone at a quiz. It doesn't matter that I knew 85% of the people there personally. The point still stands. Catherine O'Callaghan  the so-called quiz master of the pub quiz I attended last night for "Friends for Romania"
That's the second charity thing I've went to. I bet I sound like a saint, right? Always remember how saintly I am right now when you see me refusing to give a friend 30p for a drink because there is a jug of free water not 20 steps away. Now I know what you're thinking

James, how could you refuse a friend such a small amount of money.

Well the answer is simple. They say friends are priceless. That therefore means you cannot exchange them for currency and are, as a result, worthless. 30p versus worthless people?

Wow I go way of track sometimes, don't I?

Anyway. The pub quiz was really good fun. And what's more, we came second. I had a bet with my friend, Caoimhe mcManus that I would do better in the quiz than her. Frustratingly, we drew second. Well played, Karma. It was pretty surprising seeing as she thought the swiss guard guarded swiss cheese (pretend you knew the real answer to that. I'll save you the brain power and tell you they guard the Pope)

First place went to Kristian Donnely's team. He won four or five advent calenders for his team which were promptly devoured by the neighbouring teams, one of which being Caoimhe's team. Totally unfair! And all I got was a bottle of wine. I don't even drink!

Ah well. Shit happens I suppose. And if that was all, I can count myself lucky. Speaking of luck my pizza has arrived. Dominos is the greatest pizza ever. Anybody who claims otherwise had 6 toes per foot

Harry Potter - Is the hype deserved?

In a word - No. It isn't
However I have to concede that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 1 was a success in the cinema. Keeping well to the book (for the most part) leaving out things that only the hardened HP fans will notice. Things like a change in dialogue, however slight, were pointed out by my friend David O'Neil. Now to be fair I did my share of pointing out flaws

Example. What is stopping Voldemort from killing Harry? Harry's wand/magical connection the two share. A decent plot device to be sure. But what is preventing Voldemort from, say, running over him in a car, lifting him up in the air using a broomstick and dropping him from a great height or even shooting the angsty magical teen right in the face? (OK I'll give you, the gun thing, probably wouldn't work. They would probably walk around with a magical shield or something) Does Voldemort go through any of these simple methods and think "that could work" to himself? No. He does not.

Instead, he decides that he is going to search for a magical (more so than the others) wand from a wizarding child's fairy tale. This wand was supposedly carved by Death himself. Now as Harry Potter is a fantasy book, this is perfectly acceptable. However, Voldemort's thought process, is not.

But moving on from Voldemort's lack of logic or basic strategy and moving on to the man himself. The protagonist who, with no hint of a joke, seriously should have gone to specsavers. Harry finds, after a series of events, a legendary sword capable of destroying bits of Voldemort's soul. It has some how wound up at the bottom of a pond that has frozen over and so Harry decides the best course of action is to strip down and face probable pneumonia and possible hypothermia by diving in to get it.

Now seeing as the main tool he has at his disposal is magic, you would think he would use the wand to heat up the water or at the very least melt the ice so he doesn't get trapped underneath. But what happens? The necklace decides to try to kill him and drags him both away from the sword and away from the single hole he made in the ice....Nice move there Harry.

But still. Good movie. The book was better, but that's almost always the case. Anyway. Best characters have to be Dobby, Ron and George. Dobby because of the quote

Dobby wasn't trying to kill. Only maim, or seriously injure.

Dobby you were awesome. George for watching Ginny and Harry kissing in the kitchen with something in his ear and just saying "Good morning" And Ron, simply for being funny without trying to much, and for being the favourite out of the trio.

So the film leaves you sad, because of the ending, which I won't spoil, but excited for the next (and final) installment. Now as a person who doesn't enjoy Harry Potter, books or movies, as much as everyone else seems too, trust me when I say, This film is worth seeing. The dialogue wasn't as cheesy as it's been, (e.g "we have something Voldemort doesn't...something worth fighting for") the effects were pretty good, the story was good and it was comical at times.

It also left me with an insatiable desire to read the books again. Only problem is my sister Orla has taken then ALL to Glasgow with her. Damn her!

It's that time of the year again

Oh the weather outside is frightful,
But the fire is so delightful,
And since we've no place to go,
Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow

Just kidding. If the snow was a person I would punch it for being so cold. Although, if it was a person I'm sure I could reason with it. Of course if it were a person and I could reason with it, I would ask it a series of questions. I would find the cosmological stance on Pirates vs Ninjas (Ninjas FTW). I would ask it if it got bored sometimes and is that why it decides to snow in march and keep a comedian I wanted to go see in a different country so I have to wait a year to go see him. Then I would punch the snow. Then I would ask does it feel pressured by the songs written about it eg Let it snow, Winter wonderland and finally whether it likes having Jon Snow have the same name as it. I mean that would link the snow with the whole Poppy argument.

For those of you who don't know, Jon Snow is a News presenter for channel 4 and when it comes around to the time where all the people on the primary terrestrial TV channels (BBC, ITV, Channel 4, FIVE) all wear Poppies in commemoration of the Soldiers killed in action, initially in the First World War but now it goes for all the soldiers killed in all wars. Anyway, Jon Snow refuses to wear these Poppies. This may sound pretty negative of him but he is preserving his right to not wear it. Many of the High-Ups on those channels tell their employees to wear the Poppies but Jon Snow refuses to let them force him. In that respect he's right. He shouldn't be forced to wear them. However I don't see any reason not to wear them. They aren't hurting anyone and I like the idea of all the people who risked their lives for a caused they believed in with everything they had. So I respect Jon Snow for not bowing to conformity. But I don't agree with him.

Anyway back to the initial point of this post. It was about my dislike of snow and what I would do if it were a person. Of course if it were a person it wouldn't be snow and we wouldn't be having this discussion. We would probably be talking about.....cheese...or how much I want a cup of tea right now

*rushes off to make a cup of tea*
...
.....
.......
.........
aaaaaaAAAAnd im back.
Friggen snow. Forcing me to wear two pairs of socks everyday. Do you have any idea how badly I am entering a sock shortage. It's awful! Everything gets wet and the roads are dangerous. Hell the school is dangerous. Projectiles of icy white death flying through the air at speeds I don't care to estimate, people falling down, koala bears mugging pensioners. Snow is evil.

However there are some fun things that come from snow. Michael Goldring, Jordan Duffy, Ben Johnston and Padraig Conlon had stayed after school to do work. And after a bit we just went outside to the hill where they had stashed Caution Wet Floor signs in the trees and they started sliding down the hill on them. I caught a lot of it on video.

And so something I enjoyed came out of snow. Of course a wee day off school because of the snow  wouldn't go unenjoyed. I went down that hill one time and I wound up soaked with a wedgie....

They say you gotta love the snow.

Do you?

Do you really?

Post before post before last...Part 2?

Here it is. It's late and shit but its here and I'm done with it

OK so i suppose i should amend that last post' ending. I don't hate kids. Well that is to say, i don't hate all kids. Just those ones that make me want to gouge out their eyes. Like this one kid in the play. We'll call him Ricky Gervais because, well, he looks like Ricky Gervais. Except fatter...and more annoying...and obnoxious...and- well i could go on. But for times sake i won't. For now at least. 
Douchebag's only in 3rd year and he thinks he's the man. Arrogant beyond what i thought the human mind could achieve. There's a song we have about a friend of mine, Ryan McFadden, that goes:

The Hooch, The Hooch, The Hooch is on Fire!

We call him the Hooch because, as those of you who have watched Scrubs will know, Hooch is crazy. Ricky- ah to hell with it- Luke O'Rawe constantly sang that over and over again. He killed it. I yelled at him, he acted the hard lad which was about as convincing as an elephant in a dog suit. And he did this thing where he would walk up to people and think he was immediately part of their conversation. Idiot.

Anyway, I promised some people in the real world that i would do a happy/positive take on the events of weeks past. So here we go. Don't blame me if it isn't so much positive as neutral. I'm sleepy and, as I've said before, if I'm sleepy i am not happy.

So even though it was a while ago there are still a few things that stick out in my mind about rehearsals last week. We stayed in from 9 till 9 and we ordered pizza from domino's (The joys of having a friend who works there with a 50% discount) and whilst i was eating Padraig Conlon pointed out to me that, after two slices had been eaten, i was now devouring a pizza tribute to pacman
PHOTO TIME!!!

It looks like he's crying pineapple. Rest assured no pacmen were injured in the consumption of that meal...but I'm sure they would be delicious. Tastier than i thought a video game character would be. I wonder how Donkey Kong tastes

Moving on from eating illegal/fictitious meat. Although still in the line of fictitious animals, we discovered the Awkward Animal Kingdom. Okay, so, i say "discovered" but in reality i mean " made animal shapes and claimed they alleviated awkwardness. Which is ridiculous. You ever tried standing in a room with a moose and making a joke about its nose or antlers? Awkwaaaaard.
Most of you will have encountered Awkward Turtle and maybe Awkward Squid. But we came up with Awkward Giraffe, Awkward Moose and my personal favourite (even though it isn't an animal) Awkward Rock. Turns out there's a group for awkward rock on Facebook. Obviously i joined....not much more to that story is there.

Mr Laverty, one of the teachers who organised the play, made -wait for it...



... a Your Ma joke!!! Weirdest experience in the world, I'll tell you that much.
Nothing could trump a teacher making a mother joke, right? Right? WRONG. We've been practising for the play in the braid arts centre and there's a little cafe there that we spend our lunch time at. You often see typo's on some shops merchandise, maybe the slipped finger hitting the key next to the intended on their good old QWERTY. But i bet you haven't seen this slip before:
Photo Time 2: Revenge of the pixels



 Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you, The Steamed MILF.
I shit you not, that was real. And printed/laminated for the world (well okay the town) to see. Credit goes to Michael Goldring for noticing this first and pointing it out to me.

What i wonder is....how? I mean in this description of a Cafe Mocha how did they manage to hit "F" instead of "K". Okay so i suppose they look a little similar but they are one like opposite ends of the keyboard. I'm going to have to label that one. But is it a Typing fail or a Win? Only you decide...I'm just kidding. You have no say in the matter. TYPING FAIL!!